She said she wanted a boyfriend, a company, a guy who will always be there for her, and I can only nods of those statements.
I love her but I don’t have guts to tell her my feelings because we are a close friend.
She told me her secrets and her struggles and I always there listening.
Being her punch bag when she need to release her anger,
Being her shoulder when she need to cry,
Being a person who she can call whenever she feels like to,
But what am I?
I am nothing more than the title ‘close friend’.
I don’t even sure if she see me as a guy because I think she don’t.
She treat me different from all of her best friend, making me to feel like I am more than all of them when in fact I am no different.
I’m amused because until now, after those crazy months of liking her, she still can’t hear my heartbeat even though I feel like my heart is going to rip my skin off.
Every beating of the heart echoes through the room but I guess it was nothing for her but a ticking clock.
She never realize that I’ve always been there for her and never leave her.
I understand her, I wait for her all this time like, just how?
I guess it is not obvious enough.
I guess I should told her my feeling so that this struggle inside my heart will stop.
But then I don’t have the guts to talk to her because I am too afraid to ruin our friendship.
Because I am just a puppet of my brain that whenever I saw her the only thing that I can think of is to get rid of this feelings.