FEELING #8

 

He confuses me.

First he said that he loves me,

Then when I said that I felt the same way, he said that he can’t be in a relationship with me because he don’t think that long distance relationship is going to work.

Which confuses me because he never be in a LDR before but he really believes that it’s just a fairy tail that people makes because they want to be in a sensational news or something.

He explain that it will hurt him if he can’t be there for me if I need him to.

I convince him that it’s okay to try, that we are going to be just fine.

But he refuse to listen and now I gave up.

He said let’s just postpone this until we actually met in the real world.

It’s not like I’ve been in a LDR before but I’d like to try especially when it is with him.

I’d like to give him my life but it seems like he doesn’t trust me at all and I just don’t know what to do.

Why do people need to be so confusing?

If they really don’t want something they should’ve told the opposite about that from the beginning so that they will be no one that is hurting.

I know that God has plan and I do believe in that but I’m just a human, I want something instant and that’s just me.

He doesn’t understand about my feelings.

He doesn’t understand that every words that I say is true.

He refuse to listen.

He is full of himself that he forgets about other people’s feelings.

What should I do?

I ask God if he is the one and His answer was him being there for me every time I need him so I guess it’s a yes.

Now everything just change.

After the day that I confess my feelings toward him and he said no because of LDR, everything has changed.

No more jokes.

No more happiness between us on the FaceTime it’s like I’m talking to a completely different person.

He seems so cool about everything but not me.

I’m not the kind of person who forgets easily, in fact when I see someone, all of their good and bad will somehow written on their face.

I might act usual but deep inside I still and I will always remember what’ve you done to me.

What should I do? Should I just gave up and move on?

Not that it’s an easy task to do but I can try and I will try for my friend once says: “Why choose the far one when you can have the closer one?” – C.L

Now I’m stuck with this sad love song.

My tears run down like razorblades and no, I’m not the one to blame: it’s you or is it me?
And all the words we never say come out and now we are all ashamed. And there is no sense
In playing games, when you’ve done all you can do.

But now it’s over, it’s over. Why is it over? We had the chance to make it. Now it’s over,
It’s over. It can’t be over. I wish that I could take it back, but it’s over.

I lose myself in all these fights; I lose my sense of wrong and right. I cry, I cry. I’m
Shaking from the pain that’s in my head. I just want to crawl into my bed and throw away
The life I’d led. But I won’t let it die. But I won’t let it die.

But it’s over, it’s over. Why is it over? We had the chance to make it. Now it’s over,
It’s over. It can’t be over. I wish that I could take it back.

I’m falling apart, I’m falling apart.
Don’t say this wont last forever.
You’re breaking my heart, you’re breaking my heart.
Don’t tell me that we will never be together.
We could be over
And over, we could be forever.

It’s not over. It’s not over, it’s never over, unless you let it take you, it’s not over,
It’s not over, it’s not over, unless you let it break you. It’s not over.

[It’s Not Over-Secondhand Serenade]

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